I LOVE YOU, A LOVE LETTER, OF COURSE

Dear Me,

I love you. I do. If I haven’t said that for a while, please know that it’s true. I love you for you. I love you and your brilliance. You shine even when you believe that you don’t. I love you when you’re up and down and somewhere in between. I love you every day of the week, even on a lonely Tuesday morning, even in a sea of people on a Friday afternoon. I love you when you’re sleeping, when you’re resting, when you’re wide awake, when you’re caffeinated and trying to focus but failing to do so.

I love you when you make mistakes. I love you when you’re on the floor and can’t seem to pry yourself up. I love you when you get up and try again, even when you’re embarrassed to do so.

You’re amazing. You’re beautiful. You’re kind, and sometimes you’re kind of an asshole. I love you in those moments, both of them, all of them, and even when you swear you’re unlovable.

I love you when you say “excuse me” when making your way through a crowd, and I love you when you say “sorry” entirely out of habit. I love you when you look someone in the eye and apologize and mean it. I love you when you’re confident that everyone else is the problem and you’re perfect and also perfectly fine, and what’s wrong with them anyway? I love you when you realize that you are in fact a part of the equation, and maybe your actions play into all of this, too, and you look around, wondering if you are the last one to discover this?

I love you when you shine bright. I love you when you walk into a room and illuminate it with your warmth and radiant glow. I love you when you laugh, head tilted back, throat vibrating, and letting loose a cackle that reaches everyone in the room.

I love you when you’re mean, when you’re sad, when you’re happy, when you’re forgetful, and when you’re tired and struggle to put your words together. I love you when you move, when you sit still, and when you fart.

I love you with zits and hairy legs and bad breath. I love you when you trip and fall. I love you when you regret. I love you with red lipstick on and a little (or a lot) of mascara. I love you when you feel yourself.

I love you when you look out the window and stare at the trees and wonder. I love you when you visit the beach and burrow your feet in the sand. I love you when you cry and breathe and smirk with delight.

I love you when you’re scared and bashful and run away from your dreams.

I also love you when you go after it with certainty, with a pep in your step and a fire in your belly.

And I love you when you say “I will try,” and “I will try again,” and “It’s time for me to go,” and “I’d really like to stay here for a while.”

You are loved, and you are love, all day and all night, and can’t you slow down enough to see?

Love,
Me/Higher Me/Me When I Remember

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